You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize