Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize