My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize