I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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