Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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