Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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