dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize