I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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