just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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