Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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