i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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