I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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