How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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