Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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