summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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