If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize