I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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