You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
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she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Holy sore nipples Batman
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In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize