I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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