if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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