I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize