so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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