Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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