my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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