YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if only i could text you this smell
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My feet surprised me
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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