there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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