She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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