dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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