Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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