i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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