If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize