i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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