You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it was like eating out sand paper
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so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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