why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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