You made me cry and you don't even care
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize