so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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