nut hugger
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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