im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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