PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize