K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize