why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize