So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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