how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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