I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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