Sry I called you an 8
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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