Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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