Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize