I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize