just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
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You did not just play the dead husband card again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
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It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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