what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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